As Thing Two, The Younger closed in on his ninth birthday, he caught wind of the existence of a remote-control toy monkey that stood about 18” tall and for the most part just tumbled around a little upon automated command.
Thing Two was smitten. As many an eight-year old boy would be by such a marvel. Thing Two let us know that he’d like to have said electric monkey.
Toy story
And so The Missus and I looked for information on the electric monkey. We discovered that it could be ours for the low, low price of $80.
Seeing as we’d never had any intention of buying any birthday gift for Thing Two anywhere near $80, Thing Two’s request was politely, but firmly, shot down. I should add while the price tag was an instant dealbreaker, we also figured that even if Thing Two got the electric monkey, he’d play with it only or a short while and then quickly tire of it. That’s bad ROI. I hate bad ROI.
One of Thing Two’s grandparents later asked us what Thing Two would like for his birthday. The Missus apparently mentioned the electric monkey in the course of the conversation.
And so it was that around Thing Two’s birthday, he received a package with the electric monkey in it. Thing Two’s eyes lit up. Mine burned with anger. In the end, my request to send it back got shot down. Thing Two impressed even me as to the speed with which he tired of the electric monkey: he played with it once and then was done with it (full disclosure: a few years later, he did play with it once more, for about three minutes).
Into thin air
For Thing Two’s 11th birthday, another grandparent bought Thing Two a drone. Thing Two had never owned or operated a drone. Nor had I or The Missus. When it arrived in the mail, I figured that the drone was expensive (and discovered that it cost approximately $100) and was not particularly happy.
Again, Thing Two’s eyes lit up. I then had to set about the task of learning how to operate a drone well enough so that even I didn’t kill or maim someone or something while flying it. Long story short: operating a drone safely is not easy. To his credit, Thing Two has been more interested in the drone than in the electric monkey. We’ve flown it several times, and Thing Two has regularly asked to fly it. But not often.
Dear Reader, I have found that it takes little to impress young kids. If you’re hellbent on buying something, you can get a ton of bang for your buck for probably about $5. For $25, you can have the child’s eternal devotion.
To illustrate, when I was a kid, my grandparents would take me to the “toy store” (which I later discovered was a 25-cent store) and would let me pick out a toy. I loved that and to this day look back on it with the fondest of feelings. From the giver’s perspective, that’s pretty good ROI.
So do yourself a favor and forego the expensive gifts for the kids. What they really want, I think, is just an acknoledgement of the speical day and your attention and time.
Also if you can talk grandma and grandpa (and others) out of spending a lot on a gift for junior, do it. If you’re successful in this latter endeavor, tell me your secret. I’ve yet to strike upon it despite my best efforts.
Happiness for kids (and I’d argue for adults, too) can be had surprisingly cheap. Heck it can even be had for free.
