And Then There Was None

I’ve just spent(?) finished(?) experienced(?) enjoyed(?) my first week-and-some since FIREing. Not gonna lie—it was very nice . . . and. . . uuuhhh . . . weird. 

I hadn’t really thought about what it’d actually feel like. Or even thought to think what it’d feel like. Ooohhh! That’s sorta meta, isn’t it Dear Reader?

But now that I’m in the moment, I’m experiencing the experience. Ooohhh. More meta! 

Weekend warrior

To be honest, the week just felt like an extended lazy weekend. I purposely didn’t include much of anything on my agenda for the week. Well. actually, nothing much in terms of obligations. I’ll get into what I did plan in a bit. 

As I’ve explained, I just want to not work for a while. That desire is in part motivated by the fact that . . . well . . . I just don’t want to work for a while. But you, Dear Reader, are of the astutest astute sort. So, you probably sensed as much.

But I also want to not work for a while so as to hopefully let the passage of time extract and expunge the latent stress that I’ve long experienced. On this point, I can report that there may have been some success. 

Stress less

The whole week, I felt no real stress. Not that I’d entered a state of sublime bliss. Just that there was no stress. For decades up until the end of 2021, I’d spent my weekdays working. And this past week, I just didn’t work. The work part of my weekdays and life was just . . . gone. 

It’s hard to tell whether my brain is still thinking that this is just a (temporary) vacation, or whether it realizes that there’s a new normal. You’d think that I—the guy with said brain—would just, you know, know. 

But it’s weird. I don’t. 

So, did I just sit around in a catatonic state for the week? No. Although there was some aimless lounging, I will admit. 

Rather, I planned a very loose “agenda.” In fact, I use the words “loose” and “agenda” both very loosely. Really what I did was to plan a few things I wanted to accomplish during the course of the week. When I got to those things, much less how long it took me to complete them was not at all planned. 

So, I did a mish-mosh of things. Some, productive. Others . . . not so much. 

Productive line

On the productive side was to start researching the scholarship landscape for Thing One (The Elder), who’s now a junior in high school. I’ve long known that the universe of available scholarships is vast and that a ton of scholarships go unclaimed each year. So, it’s seemed that with some research and work, Thing One and I can find some low-hanging fruit. As Thing One is a straight-A student, has always taken a punishing course load, and otherwise likely falls into this or that category for which there’s this or that scholarship, I have to imagine that there are a lot of scholarships that she is or will be eligible for. Finding them, however, is the challenge. I’ve been turned on to various websites that provide info on a lot of scholarships, and these are what I spent time this week researching. But these don’t seem to include the ones that go unclaimed. If you know how to expand my knowledge of this universe of scholarships, I’m all ears.

I’d also planned to do some cooking. What I’d cook, I hadn’t determined. In the end, I made several dishes that I’d never made before. An Indian dish, classic dumplings, and a new-to-me gyoza. All somewhat time consuming. All pretty tasty. All fun to make. And all of which allowed me to learn some things about how to make these and related dishes better.

Also on the productive side of the ledger of things I did this week was to clear out a lot of my email inbox. I usually keep that thing pretty tidy and organized. But the second half of 2021 turned out to be extremely busy and stressful workwise. So, the inbox had grown (by my standards) a bit gnarly and ungainly. After a few hours of dispassionate culling (and going through loads of emails from a scholarship clearinghouse website), it’s now in far better shape. As someone who needs order in his life, this brings me no small measure of happiness. 

A little of this, and a little of that

Straddling the divide between productive and nonproductive things I did was to watch some movies and TV programs; read books, magazines, and blogs; and listen to podcasts. These all are things I could have and would do while I was working full time. But now I can consume more of this content and do it at a more leisurely, if not languid pace. That relaxed pace agreed with me quite a bit, thank you very much. 

I also took some leisurely walks. I’d planned to get a lot of exercise by biking around this week. But we’ve got snow and ice on the ground, and my bike tires aren’t built for that. So, rather than risk mortal injury in my first week since FIREing, and unwilling to take up jogging again (in part because of the dangers posed by that same snow and ice, and in part because I, um, hate jogging), I decided that I’d let discretion be the better part of valor and not ride much, or jog. Hence the walks. Nice to get out. But in terms of very productive exercise, it left much to be desired. 

Press pause

Then there was the rest of the week. Part of which included . . . well, there’s no other way to put it . . . pauses. Me thinking about what I should do next that day. What I could do next. What I would do next. This was wholly unplanned for. And, on its face, unproductive. 

But it felt strangely therapeutic. 

I can’t say that I enjoyed these pauses. Or felt comfortable with them. Or that I want them to become a regular thing. But I think they were helpful. At least this past week, and maybe for an undetermined period of time going forward. 

I think that’s the case because I think these pauses represent almost a priceless luxury: far greater ownership of my time. During my working days, there were no pauses. If I wasn’t actively working, I was thinking about work. Or, at least, I always was “on.” Anticipating that next email. Ready to jump on a new request. Prepared to do whatever it took to complete the project, no matter the dozens of hours required or the unreasonably quick turnaround imposed. 

So, maybe these pauses were, paradoxically, the most valuable parts of my week. That, I can say, I never would have anticipated.

For some undetermined period of time going forward, I plan to stick to the same non-agenda agenda. I’m curious to see how things organically evolve. 

And in the end . . . 

One thing that hasn’t happened to me (yet) is jumbling up weekdays and weekend days, so that I don’t know which day is which. I guess that happens for a lot of people who FIRE. I suppose that that might happen to me, but knowing myself, I suspect that it’s a long while until I enter that time warp phase.