I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am a staggeringly dim-witted buffoon the optionality that financial independence provides is hands down the best part of FIRE. It may not be worth a death march to obtain. But a few bumps and bruises? Probly, yes. Or at least a broken whatsitcalled. You know, the thing that does the thing for the youknowwhatiamtalkingabout.
I’ve exercised said optionality lotsa times since FIREing. As to gigs/jobs I’ve been presented with (and the time and day commitments, and compensation for those that I chose to entertain). And what to do with each of my days, when in the before(-FIRE) times (The Before Times) I’d be working. And more.
All good. Very good.
But, maybe my best use of optionality has been using it to be present. Really present.
Here and there
On the one end of this spectrum of presentness (it is too a word!) is each moment in the day-to-day of life. Lemme ‘splain. Even in The Before Times, whenever The Missus, Thing One (The Elder), and/or Thing Two (The Younger) had anything important going on for which my presence/showing up was important, I was all but always there. Big recital for Thing One? Hello! Competition event for Thing Two? Hiya! Important work-related event for The Missus that I was invited to? Boom, I’m there!
But too often, my physical presence wasn’t paired with my mental presence. No, frequently my mind was somewhere work-related. So, while I was at the event, I wasn’t really present.
Things are different now.
This said, here’s a secret about me, Dear Reader: I’m a curious little monkey, so the dust particles that live between my ears are always astir. Even post-The Before Times, when I’m physically present I may be thinking of other things. But nothing work related. Rather things like at an annual growth rate of 7%, what would an investment of $X today be worth in 10 years? Or, why did that person do that? Or, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
That makes all the difference.
Refocusing on the moment and/or event at hand is far easier these days. If only because now, whatever takes my mind off the event is either totally or mostly unimportant, and/or something I can focus on later.
Work expense
I often think about this development. No more so than over the last few weeks. That’s cuz there’ve been two major out-of-town events for which my presence meant a lot to other people. One I’d have gone to anyway, but maybe for fewer days than I ultimately did. The other, I might’ve not gone to at all. Or, certainly as to the expense involved, wrung my hands about.
Lemme ‘splain.
Event One was a major family celebration in the Midwest. Between family and friends who live there, we have a big network back there. Leaving them was the hardest part about moving away. I and the rest of The Family have only been back to the city a few times since we moved. So, when we’re there, we try to make time to see as many people as we can.
In The Before Times, my and The Missus’ work schedules would inevitably impact the number of days of our stay. We’d typically stay either the bare minimum number of days, or fewer days than we’d otherwise have preferred.
With my greater optionality, things are way more flexible. Yes, The Missus’ work schedule, and the school schedules of Things One and Two, remain concerns/factors. But not my schedule. As I was usually the one most concerned about how much time to take off in The Before Times, that’s yuge.
What’s more, I’ve become a mediocre travel hacker over the last several years. That’s allowed us to take trips we’d absolutely not have taken before, and/or to stay longer in places that we once would’ve.
As to Event One, we travel-hacked the pants offa it. Cost essentially became a nonissue. And we stayed longer than we otherwise would’ve.
With no concerns about anything work- or expense-related, I was present—really present—for our family members. I spent quality time with many of them. And got to see and be present with lotsa friends we otherwise wouldn’t have, too.
Event Two was a very short-notice affair, unlike Event One. And while Event One was for us a family thing, Event Two was something involving a friend. My friend would’ve completely understood my decision not to attend. But I knew that my presence would mean a lot to my friend. In light of my abundance of optionality runnething (it is too a word!) over, there really was no question that I’d attend.
But the short notice had two major implications: availability and price of flights and accommodations, and how long I’d stay in town. Between getting a little bit of luck as to Event Two’s timing, and travel hacking the pants offa this event, too, those two issues were greatly mitigated. It also allowed The Missus (whose presence at Event Two also would mean a lot to our friend) to join me, at minimal expense and trouble.
As a result, we got to spend lotsa time with my friend. And to be present. Again, really present. My friend was really grateful for our presence, which also surely will pay memory dividends for him.
As to the travel hacking savings that played such an important role in these two stories, they weren’t small potatoes. Estimating conservatively, we saved $3,000. Aside from my first, and still biggest, travel hack, these two travel hacks may have been our biggest to date.
And in the end . . .
I’m really grateful to have had the time to take these trips and saved so much monies, But, I’m positively over the moon at the optionality that it played a role in bringing about, and the presence it allowed us to give. I got to have lots of close conversations. But not necessarily close conversations.
