I recently started regularly listening to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast, which features interviews of comedians and other celebrities. Apparently, I’m not his only listener.
WTF?
I first became aware of Marc and his podcast in 2014, soon after Robin Williams’ death. It was then that I read something about a 2010 WTF interview of Robin. Being a big fan of Robin and his work, I listened to that episode, which generally is regarded as one of WTF’s best.
Marc and his podcast slipped from my memory until about a year later, when I read something about a WTF episode featuring Barack Obama. Again intrigued, I listened to the podcast, which also is considered one of WTF’s best. And it was good. Made national news, in fact.
Again, Marc and his podcast slipped from my memory. And then the show Glow premiered, and I binge watched it. The show is good. Marc is outstanding. I started learning more about Marc and watched some of his excellent stand-up specials. But it wasn’t until a few months ago that I started regularly listening to the podcast. Now, I’m fairly hooked.
Here’s the podcast’s general format. Marc spends about the first 5–10 minutes of the show talking about things like his personal life, his thoughts on some current events, and maybe some listener mail he’s received. The rest of the program is, for the most part, the featured interview.
Timing is everything
It turned out to be a somewhat interesting time to start getting invested in Marc’s personal life. First, this was during the ‘rona pandemic in the United States, and Marc spoke regularly about his personal fears with regard to it. Second, Marc is a longtime cat owner, and has an old cat (named Monkey) who wasn’t doing well when I started listening regularly. And then there’s Marc’s feelings on the current president, the Trump administration’s policies, the events following in the wake of the killing of George Floyd, and the suffering so many are experiencing in the midst of the events of 2020. All make him sad and and angry.
For those of you who may just have awoken from a slumber that started before the new year, allow me to give you a thumbnail sketch of 2020. While I firmly believe that we’ll look back at 2020 as a watershed year, the year itself sssssssuuuuucccccks. I dunno how many people typically say that one year or another was a great year, for themselves and/or generally. But I assure you that the numbers of people who say that about 2020 will be way below average.
Most people around the world are having a year that can be described as unpleasant or miserable or tragic.
Marc down
Once my interest in Marc was piqued, I discovered that by his own ready admission he can be a difficult person. He certainly can come across as brusque, and while that’s likely sometimes for show, it also appears to genuinely be part of his personality.
I also discovered that Marc’s had had a few longtime romantic relationships. The latest of which was with film director Lynn Shelton. Marc regularly mentioned Lynn in his podcasts, and it was clear that deeply loved her. And her him. Marc recognized that he was Lou Gehrig the luckiest man on the face of the earth because of it.
Both Marc and Lynn had managed to stay ‘rona-free, but one day Lynn fell ill. She tested negative for COVID-19, and they treated her condition as strep throat. A few days later, Lynn collapsed in the middle of the night. She was rushed to the hospital, where she died soon thereafter. The cause of death was ruled to be a previously unidentified blood disorder. Lynn was just 54 years old.
Marc was understandably shocked and devastated. And he didn’t hide that in the podcast episodes that followed. He also provided updates on Monkey. Having had said kitty for many years, Marc’s got a strong bond with that cat. I empathize with him. While Monkey has good and bad days — and there’ve been days where Marc thought he’d have to have Monkey put down to end the cat’s suffering— Marc’s resigned to the fact that Monkey’s remaining good(ish) days are very few. The end is near.
Family phewed
Dear Reader, you may be saying to yourself “Hey, self. ‘Sup? This is some sad story about some random dude. But why should I care? And isn’t this blog supposed to have even the remotest connection to personal finance?”
Well, hold on. Hold on, Dear Reader. Don’t get your undies in a bunch, fer cryin’ out loud.
I don’t know about you, but often when I go through a rough patch and might want to feel sorry for myself, I think about how many billions (yes, with a “b”) of people at any given moment are having problems that make mine look so insignificant as to not make the slightest vibration on the “significance scale.” Oh yes it is, too, a thing! Listening to WTF, this feeling was hammered home.
Is Marc having the roughest year of anyone in the world? No. Not even close. But is he having an objectively rough year? Yes. Is the roughness of his year rougher than mine and, likely, a lot of people making their way through this totally crappy 2020. Yep.
So, while I already was grateful for my and The Family’s great fortune in surviving 2020 to date, hearing Marc relate his current suffering made me ever more grateful. And an ability to be grateful can be good not just for your mental well-being, but for your wallet and your net worth.
For richer or for poorer
This tendency of mine to feel constant and immense gratitude presents something of a paradox. On the one hand, thinking about how bad so many people have it at any given moment greatly humbles and saddens me. And to some extent, it limits my ability to let myself feel joy. But, on the other hand, with gratitude as my constant companion, I always feel as if I’m as fortunate as anyone, anywhere, at any time.
Does this make for a richer or a poorer life (for me, at least)? While I’m working on myself so that I experience joy as water rushing over me, I think I’m nonetheless richer for gratitude being a core part of my being.
Why? Well, for one, I don’t expect much. And I sure as heck don’t believe that I deserve much, other than the same respect afforded to anyone else, and the love of family and friends. And those things don’t have to cost a penny.
With these low expectations, I’m relatively easy and cheap to please, too. A good book, podcast, magazine, blog, bike, hike, tune, show, or meal, along with a decent roof over my head and the companionship of friends and family are about all I really need. Most of those things are free. Some (can) cost money, but not much. So long as I have my good health and others close to me have theirs, anything on top of this list is all but pure gravy. Oh, and spectacles. I gotta have those. Otherwise, I’m gonna run into a lot of things. And that ain’t good.
It also reinforces my strong tendency to not become too big for my britches. I don’t typically sell myself short, but I do traffic in self-deprecation, which comes to me honestly. This grounds me, and minimizes even the mildest desire I might have to buy a bunch of stuff — much less flashy, expensive stuff — to “prove” that I’m a somebody of a certain class and stature.
It also makes me want to do things to help others, rather than myself. Some of the best feelings I experience — and I know I’m not alone — come not from buying something or, in a lot of cases, from traveling to some place or another (tho those experiences also can be richly rewarding), but from doing things to enrich the lives of other people. This is another one of those things that can cost money, but often need not.
Dear Reader, we’re all entitled to wallow in our personal misery, of course. And, sadly, on occasion doing so will objectively be warranted. But feeling gratitude can help us avoid or get out of these funks. And if you’re like me, it can make your life so very rich. It just might require that you look at things from a different perspective.
