Welcome to another installment of my “Forward Looking” series of posts, in which I cover things that I’m either looking forward to experiencing, or seeing how they’ll unfold, when I FIRE. Last week, I focused on a decades-long epic battle that I and sleep have been waging. Today, I focus on another challenge, at least in part attibutable to the same work-related stressors that have inhibited my uninterrupted slumber.
How revealing
Blogger reveal alert #1: Your humble blogger is a classical music fan (he likes plenty of other music genres, too, and that’ll be covered in a future blog post). He’s partial to composers from the classical, romantic, and impressionist periods. Some Americans, too. Not so much composers from the Baroque period and before.
But one type of classical music he’s not fond of at all, regardless of period, is anything featuring a prominent role for the flute. For whatever reason, he really dislikes the flute.
I mention this up front to explain the title of this blog post. “IDGAF,” of course, being the abbreviation for I Don’t Give a Flute. Apparently some people think that the “F” stands for another word. A potty word.
IRL (apparently using abbreviations in this post is a thing; bear with me, Dear Reader), I curse like a sailor. A drunken sailor even. Some might say a blotto sailor. But I’ve tried to keep this blog a fun-for-the-whole-family-because-I’m-sure-that-even-the-young-and-impressionable-kids-want-to-nerd-out-on-personal-finance venue. So, if you’re one of said people who understood the “F” to stand for something else, let this disabuse you of said notion. . . . For purposes of this post at least.
Blogger reveal alert #2: I’ve largely been a diligent rule-/instruction-/authority-follower my whole life. Is that due to nature or nurture? Impossible to know. If I had to guess, I’d say both.
Follow the leader
I suppose that I must have a natural instinct to follow the instructions or orders of authority figures. Probably we all do. Otherwise, we’d likely all do nothing than only that which we want to do, consequences be damned. But as there’s at least some semblance of order in most corners of the Earth, it seems to me that this apparent universality would indicate that there’s some rule-/instruction-/authority-following instinct in our hardwiring. That said, I think that this hardwiring is stronger in some people than in others. I’m probably one of them.
But, I think there’s no shortage of nurture involved, too. I mean, maybe one’s innate drive to follow rules/orders/authority is low. Maybe really low. But if one gets whacked enough times and/or hard enough by parents, teachers, bosses, and/or others for disobedience, I suspect that he or she probably’ll start falling into line. At least a lot more than if left to his or her own devices. For those who still don’t take the not-so-subtle hint . . . well, we have jails and prisons for them. And extradition for those who fancy themselves both rebels and persons who like to play hide-and-go-seek.
For me, dynamics involving my parents while growing up left a deep and lasting impression that made me a dutiful rule-/instruction-/authority-follower. I’ve experienced the same from some bosses who also either led extremely firmly, micromanaged, and/or brooked little dissent.
Acception to the rules
I’d say that I’ve grown to accept this basic fact about myself—regardless of my feelings about it—but that wouldn’t be completely honest. Truth is, I’ve resigned myself to this reality and have never really thought about it.
Relatedly, my chronic work-related stressors that I described in my last blog post are just as much at play in this area. It’s inhibited my willingness to put up a stronger fight against rules/instructions/authority than I might have wished to have in any given instance.
Sure, I’m not a robot (at least I think I’m not; scientists hard at work trying to come to a definitive judgment). So, to provide an example in but one area, I habitually speed while driving, and I defy you to find a more accomplished jaywalker. I’m also often not shy about raising questions as to rules/instructions/authority. I’ve done unconventional things along my path, too.
But where the rules/orders/expectations we’re relatively hard and fast, and there was a real risk of reprisals for lack of adherence, I’ve usually towed the line. In the workplace as much as anywhere else. Even where I initially questioned things, or even tried a bit to wriggle out of the situation.
You can go your own way. Go your own way.
But following rules/instructions/authority often isn’t a good thing. Not by a longshot. History is littered with egregious examples.
And, sometimes the “rules” aren’t even rules at all. They’re merely conventions. My instinct was to follow a lot of them. But as I’ve become an old, grizzled curmudgeon, I’ve changed my tune. Take the “rules of life” that I and so many were told to follow: Go to college —> then maybe to grad school —> then a “good job —> then maybe save 5–10% of your income into retirement accounts; 15% if you’re one of those super smart and prudent types, but this is for the most diligent amongst us, of course —> then buy the most house/condo that you can get a mortgage for —> then work to age 65. Or later, so that you can maximize your Social Security benefits.
Well, as I’ve discovered after learning about FIRE, it ain’t necessarily so. I’ve since not just broken some of those “rules,” I’ve done so with great enthusiasm and a devlish grin on my face. And resentment for having not realized the inherent fault in these “rules,” and that these “rules” weren’t rules at all.
Nope-a-dope
But back to those workplace and work-related rules/instructions/authorities. On the job, I’ve typically done a “do-I-want-to-die-on-this-hill” analysis when confronted with a situation I had a problem with. In most instances, I’ve decided against dying on the hill. Usually because it’s not worth the fight or the consequences and because, after all, up until opening up my own company, I never was one of the people running the business. So, I’d roll my eyes, but do what I was asked/told to do. My nature instinct and nurture history described above surely has played a role here.
This said, I often don’t like capitulating. Sometimes I hate it.
So, one of the things I’m most looking forward to when I FIRE is not having to go through these exercises. In large part because to the extent that I’m not working, they’ll be off the table. Addition by subtraction.
But even if I decide to work—which I anticipate that (at some point) I will, either in my self-employed capacity on a limited basis, in a part-time-and-low(er)-stress job, or in a full time gig in a completely different field—I expect my chronic work-related stress to, at least, greatly diminish and, as a consequence, my IDGAF “no” trigger to be far likelier and quicker to engage. After all, the worst thing that could happen would be for me to be be thrown out on my keister given an ultimatum. Then, I find out that I’ve just successfully called someone’s bluff and get the result I wanted to begin with. Or, I say “adios,” with little or no remorse or regret. Either way, IDGAF.
Past is prologue
Just as a past event gives me confidence that I’ll effectively address my work-stress-related sleep problems, so, too, am I hopeful that I’ll effectively adopt an IDGAF approach to work in spite of my past history. In this instance, I look to a few somewhat analagous situations in which I swiftly severed my relations with authority figures after they did some pretty awful things. Sort of hardcore IDGAF. I wielded the metaphorical blade as effectively and dispassionately as the most accomplished sushi chef. And with not the slightest hint of remorse or regret. If that’s compartmentalizing, so be it. I’ve shown myself to be a pro at it. Hopefully the IDGAF attitude I’m hoping takes hold of me post-FIRE will come just as easily.
And in the end . . .
Dear Reader, last week I ragged on the all-but-completely awful U2 of recent decades years. If you disagree with me about the band’s output over this timeframe, I apologize for prejudging your musical tastes. In keeping with the topic of today’s post, I will follow your direction on how to make it up to you.
I think there is a Catch 22 when it comes to work. Nobody ever loved a job that they weren’t deeply invested in. And if they care deeply about their work then there will be stress, because the effort and results matter to them. I loved my job for decades, and it was stressful. Can’t have fun work without stress in my opinion. Because if work doesn’t matter, it can’t be fun. IMO, anyway.
Good point. My stress has come more from the fear-the-consequences side than the love-the-job side tho. That is, I’ve done good work more because I’ve feared negative repercussions from the alternative, rather than because I cared so much for the best outcome for the organization. Funny, but either way the employer wins. At least in the short term and maybe the medium term. In the long term, there’s the risk to the worker up and leaves earlier than he or she otherwise would. Like I’ll be doing.
Agreed! Although the more financially secure we become, the more that attitude is already creeping in. When work demands get stressful, I get far more bent out of shape about it than when I was more desperate for the job. One of these days, it’ll take very little to put me over the top.
Yeah, notwithstanding that I’ll be making a change pretty soon, my brain still has a hard time processing it. So it still defaults to the GAF-state it’s run on for decades, not IDGAF. I’ve started consciously willing the lowering of the IDGAF bar in certain sitiations. It’s been awfully nice, and so far consequence-free.