Forward Looking: I Would Like to See Your Backside

Welcome to another installment of my “Forward Looking” series of posts, in which I cover things that I’m either looking forward to, or seeing how they’ll unfold, when I FIRE. 

Colleague bound

I’ve worked with loads of great people over the years. Definitely in the smallish groups within which I most directly worked. But also, those in other parts of the organizations. It’s been a pleasure working alongside these talented, supportive, and genuinely good colleagues and human beings. 

But not everyone’s been great. Some I didn’t like working with. Others I dreaded working with. A few I hhhaaattted working with. Fortunately, the good eggs far outnumbered the bad apples. But as is human nature, I am told, the latter left an outsized impression on me. It’s them I am so, so, so very much looking forward to seeing the backside of once I FIRE in just a few short weeks. 

Allow me to give you, Dear Reader, a thumbnail sketch of the types of colleagues I will not miss. 

Procrastination nation

First are those who procrastinate consistently and/or to such a degree that it makes my job and the jobs of others, significantly more difficult than would otherwise be the case. While plenty of staff people I’ve worked with have been guilty of this sin, BigLaw lawyers are the runaway biggest offenders. I think of all the people I’m looking forward to seeing the backside of the most, this group might be it. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worked with lawyers who don’t respond to emails or calls. Or fail to deliver a deliverable when they themselves agreed to send it. Or forget the deliverable they were to have delivered. Or never deliver the deliverable. Or, worst among this group, never deliver the deliverable and don’t apologize. 

To say this group infuriates me would be the grossest of gross understatements. Mostly because that procrastination has two effects: (1) it condenses the time available to complete the project, and (2) that condensed timeframe makes remaining actions necessary for completion far more difficult (and sometimes impossible) to complete. The burden (and resulting angst) falls entirely, or at least disproportionately on me. Making matters far worse is that the lawyers (as mentioned, it’s almost always been them in my experience) have little care or clue about the trouble that their procrastination has directly caused. And an apology for said procrastination? In my experience it’s been a rarity.

I look forward to seeing their backside.

Late shrift

I have many failings. Many, many failings. Many, many, many failings. Many, many . . . Well, you get the drift. Dear Reader. However, showing up late to a meeting is most decidedly not among them. I live by a personal motto that I’d rather be 30 minutes early to an engagement than a minute late. My time is valuable. I consider everyone else’s just as valuable, if not more so. 

Unfortunately, I’ve found that not everyone shares my manic obsession with punctuality. Some colleagues I’ve worked with over the years have shown up a few minutes late to meetings. Some have shown up late regularly. Some have shown up very late. me have shown up very late regularly. Some have not shown up at all. And some not only never showed up, but never apologized.

Now, in fairness, sometimes something legit prevented timely attendance, and the individuals gave an acceptable apology. I get it, and that’s been cool. But far too many people were just too casual or blasé about the meeting. They might as well have said straight to my face, “I like you, and I value this meeting. But I just don’t care enough about you to show you the courtesy of showing up (on time) for the meeting.” And then slapped me, to boot. Or they were so selfish as to be oblivious to the fact that I was at the very least inconvenienced. Because that’s how I always take it. Too touchy am I? Maybe. But it is what it is. 

I look forward to seeing their backside.

Game time

I’ve worked long enough to understand and appreciate the nuances of workplace politics. I don’t like those politics, but I know that every office and organization has them and that there’s nothing I can do about it. So, I’ve just made sure that I learn the dynamics as best I can and then navigate accordingly. I’ve largely succeeded in these efforts.

But some people I’ve worked with have on occasion played the game of unnecessarily playing politics with me (and making sure that those I report to are brought in the loop) and demanding that I follow their (usually ill-conceived) direction without deviation. In many instances, the offender has done so condescendingly. 

I’ll suffer all sorts of slings and arrows. But never condescension. When this sort of thing happens, I almost always look for opportunities to turn the tables and put the offender on the back foot. Put another way: You wanna play politics? OK. I’ll play politics. And I play to win. I often succeed on my first attempt. Where I don’t, you can bet that I’m holding as firm to my grudge as a parent to a newborn, and I’ll look for an opportunity to turn the tables at a later date. Revenge is a dish best served cold after all. 

But good lord is this tiresome. And if the offender was just a decent human being in the first place, things could and would have been so much easier. Sigh . . .   

I look forward to seeing their backside.

Workhorse

Over the course of my career, I’ve had many jobs and even more bosses. I mention the bosses because a new boss can completely change the culture of the group in which one works. For better or worse. I know this firsthand. 

For the most part, my main working hours during my career roughly have been traditional working hours. That said, because I’ve long had a work email app on my phone, I’ve rarely been unplugged over that period. That’s in no small part a result of my personality, I know. But it is what it is. Also, because I’m generally an overachiever, when a project needs to get done, I’ll work nights and weekends without batting an eyelash. But in normal times, I avoid working outside of traditional working hours. 

Some people I’ve worked with over the years, however, are work-to-live types. They’re always “on,” and feel it’s to their advantage to make sure that everyone (especially their bosses or others with the power to grant them promotions and/or pay raises) knows it. They do this by working at their desk far into the evening, firing off emails at all hours and on weekends, and doing far more work than is necessary to even exceed others’ expectations. This often creates unrealistic ongoing expectations of their colleagues and their group, and an increased pace at which everyone needs to run. 

Having concluded that one’s career is more a marathon than a sprint, and that I’m most decidedly a work-to-live type of person, I believe that running at a sprint pace is OK for short periods, but unsustainable over longer timeframes. The workhorse either does not share my opinion, or does not care about it. The resulting stress I’ve experienced from this and work that I’ve consequently had to do isn’t something I’ve looked at fondly. So, I’ve come to resent these colleagues, even if I otherwise like them.

I look forward to seeing their backside.

And in the end . . .

I generally try to view those I’ve worked with in a positive light. And in some cases where I found that hard to do, the passage of time has mellowed my feelings. But sometimes, that’s not been possible. For those people, there’s nothing that can make their backside any better looking.