How to My debt Payoff Story 11 Ways

This blog post is for a reader of one. And that one person is a specific human being. Or blogger. Or maybe a cyborg. Perhaps even an alpaca. I’m not really sure. Whatever the reality, I’m sticking with “person.” For now. I’m open to being shown that I’m mistaken.

That presumably sentient being (whom I’ve never met) goes by the name: Mr. Burrito Bowl. That’s a name as traditional and all-American as “Joe Smith” or “Susie Jones,” I think we all can agree.

Random subheading 1

Anyway, MBB (I’m gonna use this abbreviation for him because I’m writing this post, and I get to decide how I will or won’t refer to someone. That’s just the way it is. You’ll have to deal with it if you don’t like it, Dear Reader. Sorry. Not sorry. “MBB” stands for “Mr. Burrito Bowl” in case you thought I was just putting random letters together to refer to this person. Not that I couldn’t or wouldn’t do that. After all, just a few sentences ago I wrote that because I’m writing this post, “I get to decide how I will or won’t refer to someone.” You may remember that. Even though it now was a while ago. I’ll forgive you if your memory’s not that good. Or maybe you have senility issues. Those are serious. And this blog is a judgment-free space. Wow, this is a reeeaaallly long parenthetical, isn’t it?) wrote a how-to blog post that I think all aspiring world-beating bloggers should read. His blog headline is subtle: How to Build the Most Popular Personal Finance Blog in the Universe. I’ll cut through the mystery of what his post is truly about: how to build the most popular personal finance blog in the universe. I don’t think I can explain it any clearer than that. Well, maybe if I spent more than 10 seconds some more time thinking about it I could. But maybe not. Anyway, Dear Reader, you’re welcome.

MBB fleshes out the thesis of the post in his trademark sober and serious way. He starts out by writing, “This article is mostly for my fellow bloggers (non-bloggers should read it too so that my bounce rate doesn’t spike) who are desperately trying to break through the noise and become cultural icons.”

Because I am a blogger, and I take MBB directions most seriously, I read his post with no small measure of excitement. You can make a credible argument that FI for the People is such complete and utter garbage that to call me a blogger is an insult to the term. I would not argue with that argument. So if I’m in reality a non-blogger, I am happy to have done my part in helping ensure that MBB’s bounce rate doesn’t spike. I have no idea what a bounce rate is. Or what it means to spike. But I’m surmising that unlike a football spike or a spike in a railroad tie, a bounce rate spike is bad. Maybe very bad. I don’t want that for MBB. Neither should you. He seems like a really nice person. In these turbulent times, we need more nice persons. This “blog” is named “FI for the People” and a group of persons commonly is referred to as “people.” I now kinda wish I’d have named it “FI for the Nice People.” But, hey. I guess it’s not so bad if not-so-nice people read it. After all, that’ll help ensure that my bounce rate doesn’t spike. I think? Maybe?

Random subheading 2, which is less random than Random subheading 1

Let’s get back to the purpose of this post . . . which is about another blog post. Kind of meta, don’t you think? Actually, I have no idea what “meta” means either. But it sounds like a word that fits here.

In explaining how to build the most popular personal finance blog in the universe, MBB offers a gaggle of helpful tips to fellow bloggers and non-bloggers concerned about not spiking his bounce rates. The long and short of it for me is that he’s saying that bloggers should unapologetically write in their own voice and about things important to them, and not be unduly swayed by what others may think of them or their opinions.

I’m on board with that. And even if I were a skeptic, the proof is in the pudding. As MBB explains, he has “amass[ed] a following of over dozens of people.” Numbers don’t lie, people. Actually maybe they do. But as I’ve established with unassailable logic that MBB’s a nice person, it’s illogical that his numbers would lie. Because his numbers are probably nice. Just like him.

I don’t research numbers of readers for the most popular blogs in the universe. Or even just the most popular personal finance blogs in the universe. But I can’t imagine that any blog — personal finance or otherwise — other than MBB’s has a following of over dozens of people. So I’ll stipulate that his is the most popular personal finance blog in the universe. Ipso facto. Oh, and he also wrote a book — A Romance Novel: The Adventures of Gunnar McGregor — which you should buy (I’m not smart enough to be an Amazon affiliate, so that’s a link without ulterior motive). And everyone knows that people who write books are like suuuuuper, super smart.

I think MBB also is suggesting that we — bloggers and non-bloggers-genuinely-concerned-about-not-spiking-bounce-rates alike — should think differently and not be afraid to stand out from the crowd. This to explore things from a unique and helpful perspective, help others maybe do the same, and potentially have people better understand this or that topic and make more informed and better decisions. I think this might result in more nice people. That’d be good.

I’ve tried to think differently and wrote about how I thought that was a good and often highly profitable thing to do (see, e.g. FIRE Cracked Open My Skull and I Used to Be a Sheep and in random other posts). So I guess you could day I was predisposed to MBB’s way of thinking. Oh, and MBB writes in his post: “News Flash: It’s 2020, nobody wants to hear from an expert.” If I know nothing (which is common among nonexperts) it’s that I’m no expert. So I’ve got that going in this no-one-wants-to-hear-from-an-expert time we’re in. Which is nice.

Random subheading 3, which is less random than Random subheading 1 but more random than Random subheading 2

So why am I writing this post for one person: MBB? Because near the end of his post, almost secreted away among a multitude of invaluable tips, he offers this direction and promise: “‘Do title your article: “How to My debt Payoff Story 11 Ways.‘ Instant classic. I wish that article existed so I could read it right now.”

FI for the People does not have, and likely never will amass, a following of over dozens of people. I love my 1s of readers dearly, and I don’t profess to be a mathematician, but I’m pretty sure that 1s ≠ over dozens. So I can ill afford not to jump on a sure-fire opportunity to gain a reader.

Thanks for reading, MBB. If you are not MBB, and you nonetheless are reading this blog post, I hope you stayed on this wild ride until now. After all, I don’t want my bounce rate to spike.

And in the end . . . [This is not a random subheading]

Dear Reader (in this case my use of the singular applies to one specific person), thank you for reading this post. And thanks for writing in a style and from a perspective just as deadly serious as my all-time favorite ad campaign.