This morning, like every morning since The So, So Long Ago I was born, I woke up. Super proud of myself, I promptly checked off item number one on my daily to-do list: stay alive. Yay me! #winners.
So I can say with no small measure of certainty that I am, in fact, not dead. But lately, Dear Reader, I’ve started thinking whether I’m really “alive.” This started even before the ‘rona took hold of planet earth.
Sure, I continue to enjoy the incredibly great fortune of having all my critical physical functions and mental faculties apparently in working order. But whether I’m living my best life, in the figurative sense, is a question I’m increasingly grappling with.
Cut it out
You see, I’ve been focused on reaching FIRE for almost four years now. The progress we’ve made has been nothing short of remarkable to me. And that’s with much room for improvement. This progress largely has come from two related factors: (1) we eliminated or lessened many expenses that in the aggregate amount to real money; and (2) we’ve invested in — and continued to plow money into — passive index funds that we continue believe to be a sound investment.
We’ve also realized a few other income streams, tho the aggregate sums have been pretty modest to date. And I think herein may lie the problem: most of our progress has been achieved by sacrifice of one kind or another, and not by new, enjoyable, and manageable income-generating opportunities. That is, we’re working the expenses side of the ledger pretty well. But not as much the income-generating side. Put another way, I’ve been focused on the negative and not as much on the positive.
To be sure, none of our sacrifices have, alone, materially reduced our happiness. But there have been a lot of these little sacrifices. And I’ve essentially become “Mr. LetsTryToHackThis” and, in some cases, “Mr. No (but certainly not “Dr. No“). To The Missus and Thing One (the Elder), I think this is exhausting and also provokes in them a visceral negative reaction, right or wrong (Think Two (the Younger) is pretty unfazed by it all).
Pivot point
So I think I need to adjust my approach. This will involve being less vocal about keeping expenses down (even if I’m still hyper focused on it), doing a better job of playing up the times when I’m “Mr. Yes” (and maybe increasing these occasions), and increasing my focus on increasing income.
On the one hand, I think this will decrease the opportunities for those visceral negative reactions experienced by The Missus and Thing One. On the other, I think it’ll get me to focus more on the positive and, ideally, to create opportunities for me to be happy or really “alive.”
The happy news is that while there’s still work to be done to reach our lean and fat FIRE numbers, some of the hardest work — creating a sizable nut that ideally will compound and thus create greater wealth faster — is done. That nut also will grow by means of substantial contributions for a while. Hopefully Mr. Ms. Market will also see fit to help a brother out. I don’t anticipate many additional “sacrifices.” That’ll mean fewer times when I’m seen to be Mr. LetsTryToHackThis or Dr. Mr. No and fewer times when I have to assume that role.
I’m hoping that my income-increasing efforts not only produce income where once there was none, but that they come from new opportunities that make me ridiculously happy. Maybe a tall order. But if I go into this with that goal being a focus, I’m hoping I can more easily make it a reality.
I also need to focus much more on other things that bring me joy. This blog is one step in that direction. I find it fun to scribble tap my musings down and shoot them into cyberspace.
You’ve got a friend in me
Another is making new friends. Since moving to our new city, we’ve met a decent amount of people. Some have become friends. Others are more in the “acquaintances” category. None, unfortunately for me, are in the this-could-be-one-of-my-best-friends category. For me, to get into that category is no small feat. But it’s possible. And I’d be pretty happy if I found someone whom I could — and wanted to — call impromptu on a Friday or Saturday night and see if he or she wanted to hang out, and who’d do the same for me.
I also need to get out to my happy place the mountains more. We moved from a flat, often-dreary part of the Midwest to a mountainous, sunny part of the Mountain West, specifically so that I/we could and would have many more opportunities to enjoy the outdoors. Specifically, these new-to-us outdoors. Weather occasionally scuppers my plan to get out. Other times it’s that the family doesn’t want to go.
I think Project Make-New-Friends will help address this. Relatedly, I am thinking of joining a local outdoorsy group that offers amazing opportunities. One has to join the club, which costs a few hundred bucks. I’ve so far been reluctant to pay the fee. I think I’ve sort of had a gambler’s mentality, which has made me think that I’m thiiisss close to making new friends with whom I can enjoy the mountains. I’m now close to admitting defeat on that front. Tho I’m glad I held out for a while, given that the ‘rona would have made the investment a less valuable one.
And, heck, maybe when I become a member of the club, those friendships that I want and am missing will happen and happen more frequently. I’m thinking that if I’m around like-minded people more often, that’s probably pretty likely. But then again, what do I no?
