I write a lot about changing things up on this blog. Usually about how I used to be an ignorant idiot and now am ever so slightly less of an ignorant idiot we made all sorts of personal finance changes after discovering FIRE.
But now, three years of being a good-for-nothing layabout removed from my full-time career, I’ve been thinking of another type of change— how I’ve changed during that time. I was inspired to think about this after watching this episode of the most excellent Two Sides of FI podcast.
I also figgered that as I recently celebrated my third anniversary of having FIREd, now’s as good a time as any to do some navel gazing reflecting.
Sheesh shed
Let’s start with my attachment to the field I worked in when working full time, and the actual work itself. It’s been a slow and steady process, but I’m close to saying that I’ve shed all connections—mental and emotional—to the field and the work.
In year one of my FIRE life, I took a contract gig doing some of that work, which I described here. At that time, I definitely felt connected to the area/work. But, crucially, my heart was less into than when I worked full time.
In year two, I did some more contract work in that area. But my heart was even less into it. Simultaneously, my antipathy for the work had increased. A lot. What’s more, beyond the work itself, my already limited patience for the annoyances of lawyers in the context of performing this work went from thin to threadbare.
This last year, someone expressed interest in engaging me to do some more related contract work. My thoughts about the opportunity ranged somewhere between indifference and hostility. As it turned out the person who wanted to engage my services flaked out and the opportunity never materialized. My reaction ranged somewhere between a shrug and a smile.
Today, I not only foresee no circumstance in which I’d do any of the work I did during my full-time career, but also feel mostly detached from it and the area altogether. Neither do I miss the position I used to have, or more senior roles I might’ve secured had I stayed working. That’s a milestone I expected to reach after FIREing. But I didn’t know when I’d get there. Welp, I’ve arrived.
It’s all too much
Over the last few years, I’ve many times repeated (and written in these pages) something that many who went before me have said: I don’t know how I ever had time for a full-time job. When I first started saying that, I certainly believed it. But, objectively, it wasn’t entirely true. It’s truer now.
But whereas a year or two after FIREing I could have foreseen going back to a full-time job (tho only if things went totally sideways and I absolutely needed to), today . . . not so much. However, I’d get a lot more creative than I once might’ve. I certainly don’t see ever working full-time for an employer, or even myself, ever again.
I can, however, say that I’ll never be even slightly beholden to an employer again. Nonsense that I unhappily put up with while working so as to keep my job now would result in me saying “flute you!” to the employer and walking. Unless, perhaps, not only was the offending stuff resolved quickly and completely to my satisfaction, but the employer bent over backwards to make amends and offered a ridiculously fantastic scenario to stay. Absent that, adios.
Stress test
Reasons I wanted to FIRE included addressing burnout and stress (among others), the effects of which I definitely felt bigly pre-FIRE. What I’ve learned since FIREing is that I have a baseline stress level that’s higher than I’d like. I need to address that. Not having done so is on me.
That said, I am wwwaaayyy less stressed now than I was during my full-time working career. Like sea-change less. It’s wonderful. And that burnout? Gone.
I’m certain that these developments have done wonders for my current and future health and well-being. This alone is one of the reasons I’ve never been reflexively against a death march to FI approach to FIRE for folks like me, who were fighting demons otherwise hard to slay.
Health club
Speaking of health and well-being, I’m pretty sure I’ve improved in both respects since FIREing. I don’t work out regularly. But I bike and walk much more than I used to. And the good vibes I get from consuming more content for pleasure must have a positive effect on my mental acuity and well-being. And notwithstanding my baseline stress, I’m more mellow than I used to be. That’s gotta be good for me.
Travellin’ man
Travel also has become more pleasurable. In pre-FIRE times, I’d worry about such things as whether a trip was worth the time off. To say nothing of whether I felt I could even take the time off given my work schedule. I’d also usually work a little during my time away. And I’d certainly frequently be checking my work email. Almost compulsively.
Today, I have no need to worry about time off, or to check work email or do work while I’m away. These developments alone have done wonders for my mental well-being and made my trips so much more enjoyable. Good thing because since FIREing, we’ve had and gotten to do many more trips.
Community centered
Last, my social circle now comprises a much higher percentage of people in the FIRE community. That probably seems weird coming from a guy who’s been writing a FIRE blog for more than five years now. But things have ramped up.
This has been great as I’m spending more time with people I feel closer deep connections with than other friends. All of whom I like a great deal, but with whom I don’t/can’t share something that’s such a big part of my life.
In addition to the many developments on the local front, I went to my first major FIRE event in 2024. I’ll attend another this year and foresee going to more in the coming years, at an increasing pace.
I’ve always loved the community. But in the last year or two, I’ve come to love it even more. It really is such an amazing group of people. I’ve gotten the incredible privilege of hanging around many of the smartest folks and most genuinely nice human beings I’ve ever known.
And in the end . . . .
Presumably some people who FIRE (or even traditionally retire) don’t radically change as people once they FIRE/retire. But I suspect most do, even if the actual timeframe over which this takes place is different for everyone. For me, tho it’s still an ongoing development, I think many of the major changes took about three years to complete their lifecycle. Yes, I’m changing. Good.
I’ve just left a comment on your comment on Escaping Avalon’s November post, about the death march to FIRE, and how good it is to hear that it can be worth it. I relate to your pre-retirement levels of stress and being decidedly NOT mellow. I have both antipathy and limited patience for the BS. This week’s example: I am playing a tiny tiny part in the establishment of a virtual hospital, where all services will be delivered virtually. Yet the meeting they called is face to face, and when I asked about a virtual attendance option, was told no and asked ‘is that going to be a challenge for you?’ Dreaming of my FIRE day when I can say “Why yes, it is. Thank you and goodbye.”
Thanks for this introspection.
I feel you, Mrs. ETT. In my full-time working days, if I’d have heard a question phrased as “is that going to be a challenge for you?” I’d then as now tried to parse whether it was asked honestly or passive aggressively. If the former, I MIGHT have answered honestly in turn. If the latter, however, I’d all but certainly have answered “no,” and silently grit my teeth, more because the question was asked disingenously and asked to demonstrate power dynamics than anything else. Although I never encountered a situation like that while working, instances that I did deal with that f’sho rhymed with that situation absolutely played a role in my wanting to reach FI.
As for the death march to FI, yes, I’m happy to put my two cents in about it. More on my feelings here: https://fiforthepeople.com/the-amazing-race/ in case you’ve not read that post.