Dear Reader, no one’s likely to ever call me an extrovert. But I’m no hermit or shut-in. Likewise, I’ll never be called a techie. But I’m no neophyte.
Where the rubber hits the road for me is social media. See, I have profiles on several of the major platforms. And I visit them often. But the number of posts (outside of announcing new blog posts) and comments I’ve made over the years can be counted on two hands, I think.
What gives?!
Lemme first say that I get social media. Heck, I have profiles specifically to take advantage of some of each platform’s benefits. I’m not one of those people who think that social media is all bad. Or downright evil. And I get that social media can be an effective way to promote myself (or “my brand”) and/or this here blog. I even know not just a little about how to do that, should I want to.
But if all social media disappeared tomorrow, I’d not miss it for a second. Rather, my reaction would be an emphatic shrug. I see no need to change
One life to live
First, notwithstanding my status as a lazy, no-good layabout an early retiree, it’s enough for me to manage my IRL life (apologies to those paying attention for the double “life.”) I didn’t necessarily disbelieve the early retirees who claimed that their post-FIREing days were full and they didn’t know how working people got everything work- and personal-related done. But I wasn’t sure how accurate that sentiment is.
Long story short, I’ve found it to be pretty spot-on. Between my kinda-sorta-work; stuff involving each individual member of The Family, The Parent, The In-Laws, The Siblings, and The Friends; trip/event planning; and my own personal issues and interests, there are always balls to juggle. To overlay on this a virtual life on even just one platform seems but only a way to add a layer of complexity to something (my life) that I feel precisely no need to further complicate.
A one, and a two . . . or not
Next, even if I were to get active on social media, a logical question to start with would be which platform(s) to focus on? Each has its merits after all.
On the one hand, I’m mindful of those “social media experts,” who advise focusing on just one or two platforms. But which one or two for me? I can make a case for all of them.
On the other hand, I know plenty of people who are active on more than two platforms. How do they keep up, I think to myself?!
It just seems so exhausting. Not fer me, I say.
Next, no small reason that I FIREd was to get away from the 24/7 of work(-related) obligations and the immediacy aspects of work. Just got an email? Respond! Now! Just returned from lunch and have a voicemail? Respond! Now!
Blech.
Call and response
It’s always seemed to me that there’s at least some (if not a lot of) pressure to be super responsive on social media. Likes. Comments. Responses. To everything. Or at least lotsa things. Even if just on social media for funsies, with no “obligations” to post/respond/comment, that pressure often can become self-imposed.
Just thinking about experiencing that sensation on one platform makes me nauseous. Compounding it by being active on multiple platforms and feeling the need to like, comment, respond, or post on each one as activity warrants seems just about suffocating.
I say, fuggedaboutit.
Down town
Next, notwithstanding my understanding of social media’s benefits, I still think much of it is a toxic dumping station run by profits-over-morals jerks. Why jump into (or, worse, contribute to) this morass, I think to myself? On a related note, while I understand that losing friends over social media may be the logical conclusion of a series of online events, getting into a relationship-ending spat with someone virtually seems to me needlessly frustrating and something I’ve no interest in.
False positives
Also, while lotsa what’s on social media is toxic, there’s an equally annoyingly high amount of activity that’s cloyingly, and often wholly falsely, positive. That is, if you only spent time on social media, you’d be forgiven for thinking most people’s lives are just . . . so . . . perfect. And getting ever more perfect each day. Nothing bad seems to ever happen in their lives!
How do they manage that, one thinks?! What’s their secret one wonders with envy?!
The truth, of course, is that the social media picture often is a false illusion. Or at least a woefully incomplete full picture of people’s lives. I personally am not necessarily interested in talking about all my many, many, many, many mistakes and challenges. Or other less than rosy things going on in my life. Nevertheless, I do write about some of them on this blog (Hello, hardcore scarcity mindset! Whatcha doing, terrible investment decision!) I don’t pretend to have a perfect life (even if it is good enough that I feel giddy when I think about my incredibly good fortune).
I find myself an outlier tho. If people were more willing to show their full selves, with all the messiness that comes along with it, I think I’d be more inclined to be favorable to, and maybe active on, social media. Happy stories can be interesting. Full, accurate, and sometimes messy stories are usually fascinating.
No cheap thrills
This post is being published one week behind schedule. And that’s because around the time I was planning to publish, I was reminded of another reason for my deep antipathy towards social media. The reminder came by way of this episode of the Earn and Invest podcast . . . which referenced and reminded me of this blog post on The Retirement Manifesto that I read a while back . . . which referenced this blog post on The Honest Broker, which I’d read even earlier. Phew! What a long and winding road!
Anyway, the thesis addressed in these pieces is that social media companies are actively and aggressively hooking people by leveraging their everlasting quest for dopamine hits. I thought this notable and relevant enough to hold up publishing and address the issue.
Now, I’ll admit to small thrills when the very few active endeavors I’ve taken on social media have been met with approval. Or even just acknowledgement. But that’s just what they are: small thrills. I can do without them. And, knowing the game that social media companies are playing, I consciously say, “flute them!” and refuse to play into said game.
And in the end . . .
So, there you have it, Dear Reader. The main reasons for my social media antipathy.
This all said, one thing I have actively used social media for, however, is research. In that respect, it’s useful. Often very useful.
Of course, I try not to go too far.
