It’s All About the Money So That It Can Be Very Little About the Money 

I’ve made no secret that a driving reason why FIRE instantly appealed to me and why I giddily pursued it was to secure FI. Je ne regrette rien! 

But that reason can’t and shouldn’t be taken as existing in a vacuum. Financial independence absent an overarching context for living—and the ability to live—a fulfilling, rich, joyful life is a hollow vessel at best. 

A, B, Sees

Even almost five years after FIREing, few people know my “(quasi-)retired” status. A small number, however, not only know, but knew of my plans well before I FIREd. One is a dear friend whom I’ll call “A.” 

A was in the group of people I introduced the concept of FIRE to right after I discovered it in 2016. I thought f’sho he’d take to it like a moth to the flame as I did. Alas, it weren’t so. 

A read some Mr. Money Mustache (MMM) blog posts at my suggestion but was turned off by MMM’s face-punchy writing style. I tried confirming that A understood that MMM was being provocatively funny and to see through that to understand MMM’s core messages. 

A’s really smart. Including about money and investing. He not unreasonably reacted indignantly to my suggestion that maybe he just didn’t see what I saw. I backed off.

Over the years, A and I have talked a bit about FIRE and my having FIREd. It’s been surface-level conversations. Why just that, I’ve never understood. 

Last year, The Missus and I bought tickets to one of this year’s CampFIs. A and his wife (whom I’ll call, “B”) live near that CampFI location. Hoping to tack on a few days to the trip so we could spend time with them, we arranged to stay with A and B for a few days leading up to the CampFI weekend. 

Only much later did A ask why we were coming into town in the first place. I pithily responded: “we’re going to a money nerd event.” A simply nodded. 

Later, A asked me about said “money nerd event.” I gave him surface-level deets, expecting essentially rolled eyes. To my mild surprise, I was met with the faintest hint of interest. 

Fast forward to the CampFI week. During our stay with A and B, A asked me slightly deeper questions about CampFI. Including why I wanted to go, what it’s all about, and why it holds any appeal. Still not sure if A was genuinely interested in the answers or was just making conversation, I gave honest but not terribly detailed responses. A nodded. B also took in the information. 

Later during our stay, B essentially said to me—during a conversation about the FIRE community and my mentioning several of the fascinating people I’ve met in it—”How do these [FIREd] people pay for their lives!?” A bit shocked that B didn’t understand FIRE’s simple math and concepts, I mentioned the 4% rule and other common revenue-generating ventures. 

B is just as smart as A, but stared at me somewhat confusedly. I sensed that she thought what I was explaining was cuckoo for coco puffs. At best. 

The next day, we headed to the CampFI. This was our second CampFI, and I found the attendees to be as interesting, mindful, and intentional as those at the last one we attended. It was a great weekend.

Get it?

When it ended, we headed back to A and B’s house as they’d planned to take us to the airport we’d be flying out of. With about an hour to kill before heading out, I was curious to see if A and/or B showed any genuine interest in CampFI and/or FIRE. They didn’t disappoint. 

I recapped the weekend and answered their many questions. In the course of things, I mentioned that a great aspect of CampFI is that most of the people at it and similar events share many similar values. Were I to have put it otherwise and been blunter, I’d have said, “Most of these people get it. Or get life.”

We soon said our goodbyes, and that was that. I wondered if A and/or B might later ask more questions tho. 

Fast forward a few weeks, and A texted me, saying that he’d watched some of the videos on the CampFI website (which A found on his own as I’d not directed him to it). He added details indicating that he better understood the movement and its appeal to me.

A-ha, I thought! Yes, I think he’s maybe getting it!

I think A (and prolly B) just always figgered that FIRE was always and only about the money. And that, me always having been . . . uuummm . . . slightly more tightwadish frugal than your av-er-age bear, that it was a way to rationalize and capitalize on my cheapness frugality.

I told A that his conclusion basically was spot on. Put another way, I essentially asserted that it’s kinda all about the money so that it can kinda be very little (or, perhaps, nothing) about the money.

If someone outside the FIRE community—like A and B—looks at the concept and community and instantly concludes that the whole thing revolves around money (and perhaps an obsession with it), they’re not completely wrong. But they’re far from right. Again, financial independence absent an overarching context for living—and the ability to live—a fulfilling, rich, joyful life is a hollow vessel at best.

A stopped short of saying that his understanding of FIRE’s nonfinancial—or not-strictly financial—appeal was leading him to make (dramatic) changes. And, I frankly don’t think he will make any changes. Which is a shame given that his and B’s financial situation all but certainly would allow for at least somewhat chubby FIRE already. 

And in the end . . . 

Anyway, I sure am curious to see if A (and/or B) does a deeper dive on all this. And, especially if he/they ask me more questions. It’d be loads of fun to talk nerdy with them.